I knew that this was going to be a Valentines I’d never forget. We got in the limo and you had my favorite drink of choice ready for me, Captain Morgans and coke. It was a warm night and we opened the top window, I got up and stuck my head out just to let the breeze blow my face and to watch the city pass by. You were holding my hips so I wouldn’t fall but your gentle pressure was making me wet with anticipation. We got to your first planned stop, a very quiet romantic restaurant. They seated us right next to the window where we could see the ocean. The sun was just setting and the view was terrific. You ordered for me and we had a great time just talking about small stuff. On to our next adventure, you took me to my favorite club so we could dance for a while. I even got you up on the floor for some fast dances. When we slow danced you held me so close and blew in my ear and caressed my shoulders. By the time we left I was feeling very sensual. We got in the limo and we were off. And he’s the one making his wife wear the scarf so...”Lily was grinning too. I sighed. “Right let me go and find a bit of branch.”“Extra large, we got,” Jaz reminded me, “that’ll be ninety-fifth percentile won’t it, same as you are.”I caught on just in time: “ ... Never you mind what size I am.”“Well we want to know your bit of wood’s realistic don’t we.”“It’ll be realistic enough.” I abandoned the argument, wondering if these two had been looking at my bulge, or if their mother had been indiscreet at some point. I went out and found a small branch in the trees at the side of the house. I sawed off a conveniently long length, that was about an inch and three quarters thickness, took it into the garage and stripped the bark off. I rounded one end with the belt sander and took it into the kitchen.“Wow Daddy it must hang down to your knee,” Jaz grinned.“It’s not a representative length, as you know perfectly well,” I tried not to sound prim.“I thought it was supposed to be realistic?”.
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